I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize