Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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