i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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