hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
