i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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