this boner is exhausting
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
