Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
