well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
