I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
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If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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