New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize