Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
