I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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