I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
