are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
