No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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