Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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