Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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