Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
