can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
