I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
