Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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