You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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