Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
