i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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