Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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