She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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