wake up i wanna do it froggy style
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
