I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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