I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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