I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it