I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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