I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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