My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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