I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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