I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Are we still banned from the library?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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