you guys were way drunker than both of me
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
