God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
