O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
