yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
