you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
