Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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