...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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