Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
