I never want to see another naked old woman again.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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