That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Your dad touched me again.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
