if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
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I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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