youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
