I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
