Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
