I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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