just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
