Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I wanted to see November 5, 1985

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  (713): I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima (832): I wanted to see November 5, 1985 http://tfl.nu/o133
  Replies (19) Good night (4261) Bad night (752)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.

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  (330): just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people. http://tfl.nu/iaht
  Replies (12) Good night (13737) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair

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  (401): She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair http://tfl.nu/x122
  Replies (9) Good night (1150) Bad night (2278)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.

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  (717): Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit. http://tfl.nu/5mnb
  Replies (12) Good night (732) Bad night (2844)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.

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  (479): As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man. http://tfl.nu/2x85
  Replies (2) Good night (974) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  you have got to get your shit together

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  (910): dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days (1-910): you have got to get your shit together http://tfl.nu/bju9
  Replies (11) Good night (576) Bad night (1597)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.

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  (770): He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits. http://tfl.nu/4emx
  Replies (11) Good night (632) Bad night (2058)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.

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  (610): Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night. http://tfl.nu/8tyy
  Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole

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  (206): I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole http://tfl.nu/tvcl
  Replies (2) Good night (775) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday

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  (701): You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday http://tfl.nu/l516
  Replies (0) Good night (603) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything

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  (262): He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything http://tfl.nu/fbmj
  Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?

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  (406): I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right? http://tfl.nu/lpzl
  Replies (2) Good night (386) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.

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  (713): Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better. http://tfl.nu/rcka
  Replies (4) Good night (379) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?

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  (701): I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/w4ss
  Replies (2) Good night (358) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is

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  (856): we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is http://tfl.nu/1dmq
  Replies (3) Good night (291) Bad night (168)

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