Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove