I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.