is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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