Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
