not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm like, not good at living.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
