im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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