she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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