I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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