he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
