i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
