In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
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the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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