I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
