about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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