There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
