i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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