please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
