I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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