Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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