You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
