I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
