i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We had to coat check the pizza.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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