Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
