That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
