Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
